Recently I have been dealing with facing my fears. For weeks I’ve been having sleepless nights, anxiety, and days where it literally feels like I can’t breathe. My head is racing at 10 000 miles an hour and I just can’t keep or catch up. My Mind is full of all these insecurities that I didn’t even know I had. I run scenarios that probably won’t ever happen. And I think of outcomes that are near impossible.
So, after a group coaching call on Wednesday of last week, and a slight kick up the ass, I decided enough!! I am stopping this…
But my Mind won and managed another 4 days of chaos before my willpower took over. The first step was me sitting down and making a list of my fears. A list of everything that comes up in 5 minutes. I limited this (or else my Mind may win again). So, I set a timer and I was off!
Fast forward 5 minutes later and I’m reading my list. The things that came up were pretty weird. My list had things like:
- Not being financially stable
- Fear of rejection
- Scared of being in the limelight
- Disappointing my parents
- Being boring
- Showing my truth
- Being too honest
- Being seen
- Not being successful
- My body failing me
- and the list goes on… 50 more items (OMG cringe!)
But I realized so many of these fears my Mind was selling me were irrational!
Fear of rejection and fear of being boring. I mean come on! Who even cares!? Who’s going to reject me? And who defines boring? Scrap those Mind. You’re being ridiculous!
Showing my truth, being too honest and being seen. That’s all me fears. Only I can define the outcome. Only I can decide how far to push, how much to share and how comfortable I am. Relax Mind. One day at a time. We’ll work through this together when the time comes, okay?
Not being successful. Success is another thing I’ve been working on. So many people think success is how hard you work, your job title, how little you sleep, how much cash you have to spend, your expensive car, your fancy house etc… But for me success is: How much free time I have to do what I love spend time with those I love. So yes Mind, we’re working on that one already. Relax!
Financial stability is another big one I’m working on. I’ve been dropping my underpaying corporate clients in my consulting firm and focusing on aligning my passions with where I want to be financially. Creating a stable environment where I can flourish, personally and financially. Work in progress Mind, work in progress.
Disappointing my parents; This is honestly my biggest fear, and a somewhat irrational one. My parents have always been very supportive, even though they are really conservative. When I started my consulting firm last year, their immediate response was shock, followed by concern, followed by the offer of financial support if I need it. The first few months were tough, but I made it. Their belief in my business went up and so did their support of my ideas. And I know no matter what happens, I’ll always be their little girl.
The fear of my body failing me – For the last 4 months I’ve been struggling with an issue with my hip, some days so sore I can’t walk. I spend days on end at home, too scared to go anywhere because of the pain of walking. And after 2 doctors, one orthopedic, 2 physiotherapists, 2 professional massages, 2 cortisone injections, 9 physiotherapy sessions and hours rolling on a foam roller and/or tennis ball, I’m finally seeing progress and getting better. So, Mind, Body has this, let Body handle it.
All in all, my legitimate fears weren’t that many, or that bad. Nothing I can’t deal with. My Mind and I are on the same level. I’m working on things one day at a time and I have no reason to feel anxiety or angst about anything. Everything will be just fine. One day at a time
If you struggle with anxiety or irrational thoughts, I suggest making a list just like I did. Set a timer and do a brain dump. Write down as much as you can during your time and then analyze your list thereafter. You may be surprised at what comes up. If you need to chat please schedule a call with me by clicking here